Before you think this is another bullshit fantasy, keep reading. What started out as a night that most men dream of, turns into a night where I wish I hadn’t left the house.
My girl picks up this hottie at a club she’s at. I meet up with her and she asks if we can bring this hottie home. The new girl had big fake boobs and long legs. She’s wearing a dress. She looks alright I figure so I agree. Half an hour later we’re back at my place and having drinks. The girl brings out a flap and minutes later we’re all high on some good stuff. I turn on the music and things start happening. I would love to go into details but this story probably wouldn’t get printed.
While the details I left out might read like Playboy, not everything was as nice as it seems.
…At one point I swear I thought I was looking at Cujo with her hair flying around and the froth in her mouth. It was a major turn-off…
First issue we had were those fake boobs. They looked way better in a dress. Naked, they were all misshapen, deformed and not even the same size. Total turn off.
Second area of concern was the froth in the corners of her mouth. I’ve been high and around others that are so full of blow when they sneeze it’s a blizzard, yet I’ve never seen any frothy stuff in the corners of anyone’s mouth. It was strange. Repeatedly during the action I had to tell her to take a drink to try and wash the frothy white stuff away. At one point I swear I thought I was looking at Cujo with her hair flying around and the froth in her mouth. It was a major turn-off.
…The sun had started peeking in the slits in the blinds and the brighter it got, the worse she started to look…
The third issue was trying to a)convince her that I didn’t know anyone else that might have blow at 4 in the morning. b)get her out of my house. When we were finished, she wouldn’t take the hint that it was time to go. The sun had started peeking in the slits in the blinds and the brighter it got, the worse she started to look. My girl and I huddled together for support during the trying times. Finally after about an hour of awkwardness, her ride came and she was gone.
My girl and I have laughed about this story for a while now, wondering what possessed us to bring this chick home. What a pain in the ass. From the begging for coke to the frothy mouth and the failure to disappear, made the last hour and a half of our night very miserable. Almost not worth the trouble. It’s a story we cannot tell for various reasons.