I boned my lawyer’s secretary and I can’t tell anyone because I was engaged at the time.
I was locked up for a few months for some bullshit. My moms gave me the number for a first-class lawyer. I would make calls to my lawyers at least once a week and every time I’d call I’d flirt with the female that answered the phone.
I was in jail so the fact that I was hearing a woman’s voice cancelled out all thoughts that she might be bone-deep ugly.
She started flirting back. We started having long conversations on the phone to the point where I’d be getting in fights cause other cons wanted to use the phone. Eventually we started writing letters and she sent me some pictures. She was fucking hot!
I got out and went to see her the first day. I walked into my lawyers office for the first time and saw the secretary. My jaw hit the floor. I introduced myself and she smiled. Thankfully she thought I was cute, she had never even seen a photo of me.
I told her to come by my place after she got off work and she did. She laughed because I had no lights, the power was cut when I was locked down. We started boning and because I was so excited I came fast. It made me so angry that I punched a hole in the wall above the bed.
We dated for a few months. It was fucking awesome but I couldn’t tell my lawyer or my girl obviously. After my lawyer turned into a complete waste of time and money, I wanted to tell her that I was fucking her secretary.